Ten Best "The Office" Quotes...

Hey everyone, no new episode this week but a new one is coming shortly so try and keep it together. This week were talking about the best quotes, in my opinion, in the life of "The Office". There have been so many that this is a tough task for anyone but I'm going to give it a try here...

10. This is from Season 2 in the Sexual Harassment episode.

Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.

9. This quote comes from season 4 in the episode, "Did I Stutter?".

Dwight Schrute: You know what? You knock fifteen hundred dollars off the price right now and I'll take it off your hands. It's gotta be now. Seal the deal. Let's do this thing. Three, two, one. Five, four, three, two, one. Now! Now! Now! Say it! Do it! Now! Do it now! Do it! Shake my hand! You will sell me this car. Shake my hand.
Andy: Yeah! Alright!

8. This is from a more recent episode in season 6, "Happy Hour".

Michael Scott: Hey! You embarrassed my friends in front of me and I'm gonna need you to go back over to the table and apologize.
Manager: Then I am sorry... That I didn't kick you out!
Michael Scott: I am here with my employees. I am here on a date. [waving across the bar] Hello!
Manager: Well, uh, I'm the manager here, sir--
Michael Scott: Well it just so happens that I'm a manager too. And the way I manage people is that I touch their hearts. And souls, with humor, with love. And maybe a dash of razzle dazzle! And I don't see that from you.
Manager: Is that how you do it?
Michael Scott: Yes it is. I am writing a book about it.
Manager: Really, how much have you written.
Michael Scott: I've written all of it. [pause] In my head. If you're really interested, it is called Somehow I Manage, and it is going to be a picture of me on the cover, shrugging, with my sleeves rolled up.
Manager: Huh. Have you read Lee Iacocca's? It's a classic.
Michael Scott: Read it? Own it! But no, I have not read it.
Manager: Dude! Tonight. You're not gonna wanna put it down, it's gonna make you wanna go out and buy a Chrysler tomorrow.
Michael Scott: I own a Chrysler.
Manager: Shut up.
Michael Scott: No you shut up.
Manager: What's your drink?
Michael Scott: Grenadine...
Manager: What?

7. This is from the "Moroccan Christmas" in season 5.

Jim Halpert: [about Dwight's doll-selling scheme] That's the Christmas spirit.
Dwight Schrute: I am simply punishing those parents that would wait until the last minute to give their child a gift. And such a genetically improbable one. Look at that [points to the doll's horn] How does that happen? King has sex with a unicorn? Man with a horn has sex with a royal horse?

6. This quote is from Season 4 in "Goodbye Toby".

Dwight Schrute: So what do we know about her.
Michael Scott: Well.. we know that Toby thinks she'll be great. So strike one, I hate her already.
Dwight Schrute: I hate her too.
Michael Scott: Why do you hate her?
Dwight Schrute: Because she... stinks. With her... ways. And her... head.
Michael Scott: You know Dwight sometimes... I donno I think you say things just to agree with me.
Dwight Schrute: Would that be such a bad thing?
Michael Scott: Yeah, it would! Just have a thought! Have an original thought. [pause] Although I will agree that her head is weird.

5. The Casino night episode in season 2 was one of my favorites.

Pam Beesly: [to Roy] Come on it'll be fun. And besides, I'm a roulette expert.
Dwight Schrute: Impossible. Roulette is not a game of skill, it is a game of chance.
Jim Halpert: I could always kind of win at roulette.
Dwight Schrute: Oh really. Mm-hmm, how would you do that?
Jim Halpert: Mind-control.
Dwight Schrute: Please, you can't be serious. Are you serious?
Jim Halpert: Ever since I was a little kid, like 8 or 9, I could sorta control things with my mind.
Dwight Schrute: I don't believe you. Continue.
Jim Halpert: It was just little things, you know? Like I could make some things shake or I could make a marble fall off a counter, you know just, little things.
Dwight Schrute: [scoffs] That's ridiculous. You know what? Uh, why don't you move that coat rack? Excuse me, everyone, attention in the office please. Jim is about to prove his telekinetic powers and he needs absolute silence. Go ahead.
Jim Halpert: Okay, I'll try.
[Pam moves coat rack with umbrella]
Dwight Schrute: Oh my God.

4. Getting close to the finale here with Season 6, "Scotts Tots".

Michael Scott: Now, I can't pay for your college. But you don't have to go to class, to be in class. Online classes are a viable option to a traditional college experience. [unzips suitcase] And the best way to access those courses is with your own personal laptop. Which is rendered useless, without batteries. And I have one for each of you.
[the entire room erupts with outrage]
Michael Scott: Hold on! Hold on! Hold on! Hold on.
[the room quiets]
Michael Scott: They're lithium!

3. Dwight has yet another rant in Season 6, "Koi Pond".

Dwight Schrute: Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. But--

2. The runner up comes to us from season 2 in the episode, "Drug Testing".

Jim Halpert: I'm just saying that you can't be sure it wasn't you.
Dwight Shrute: That's ridiculous. Of course it wasn't me.
Jim Halpert: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember.
Dwight Shrute: I would remember.
Jim Halpert: Well, how could you if it just erased your memory?
Dwight Shrute: That's not how it works!
Jim Halpert: Now how do you know how it works?
Dwight Shrute: Knock it off, okay? I'm interviewing you!
Jim Halpert: No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here! Now, exactly how much pot did you smoke?
[Dwight looks shocked]

1. And the number one quote from the show "The Office" is from season 3, "Product Recall." I am sure everyone remembers Jim imitating Dwight so here it is.

Jim Halpert: Question. What kind of bear is best?
Dwight Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim Halpert: False. Black bear.
Dwight Schrute: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought--
Jim Halpert: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight Schrute: Bears do not... What is going on?! What are you doing?!
Jim Halpert: MICHAEL!!!
Dwight Schrute: Oh real funny Jim...MICHAEL!!!

Well there you have it, my top ten quotes from "The Office." It was a daunting task but I toughed through it. If you disagree, send me a comment and let me know what I missed. Hopefully next week we can discuss the newest episode. Until then, stay posted and stay tuned.